Broken
by BriKyo
Summary: Is it far away in the glitter freeze? Or in our eyes every time they meet?


I don't own anything.

* * *

Roxas had known he wasn't going to amount to much in his life. He knew he wasn't going to famous or have his name in the paper except for maybe the day he turned up in the obituary. Hell, at the rate he was going he didn't think anyone would care by then. But this didn't bother him.

What had bothered him was when high school ended and he didn't know what to do with his life. College was the first thing that came to mind. Leaving his home scared him. He didn't think he could make it on his own. So he thought of doing classes online but found that more expensive. So he told his family he'd wait a year.

* * *

Axel, Roxas' boyfriend, left for college out of state. He knew the distance would be hard but they'd get through it. Roxas reminded himself how happy they'd be when the got to see each other when Axel came home for breaks.

But while Axel was away Demyx needed somewhere to stay. Roxas and his mother offered a room to him which he gladly took. The two were close friends from school. But what Roxas failed to pay attention to was Demyx's crush on him. Axel had noticed though. And he hated it.

Eventually Demyx got tired of chasing Roxas and moved into an apartment with Luxord. Roxas, who was tired of Demyx telling him how much he loved him, was relieved. He knew Axel didn't like Demyx.

Then the real fun started. Roxas' mother was worried about him. She thought he was falling into a depression. Roxas laughed to himself. He was told that when he was thirteen or so. He didn't believe the women who had said it then and he didn't believe his mother now. But to make her happy he when to all the appointments that were made.

A week later he was told he was indeed depressed and was going get help for it.

The help came in the form of pills to get him out of the depression, pills to help him sleep at night, and people to help him figure out why he was like this. He hated it all. He never really liked therapists. He didn't like how they would always be writing while he talked. He hated being analyzed. But the thing he hated the most was admitting to himself that he had a problem and needed to ask for help.

The only good Roxas could find in the situation was that Axel was coming home for a week. And he was promised for at least two days of Axel. And he got his two days. Then Axel called and broke up with him. Roxas had never been one to cry but he found himself crying hysterically on the phone with Axel asking why. Axel never gave him a reason. He just hung up on Roxas, still crying.

For the first time in four years, Roxas cried himself to sleep.

Roxas was told Axel would come back. He would see that it was a mistake to leave him. Even though Roxas nodded and smiled he didn't believe a word.

Finally, after what felt like months, they talked. It was just over the internet, nothing big. They decided on being friends for now. They would not see anyone during this time. Just a friend to talk to. What it had been before Roxas knew he had feeling for Axel. Back to some kind of normal.

But Roxas knew it could never be "normal" again. He knew he couldn't just be Axel's friend. He wanted to be with him. He wanted to hear Axel tell him that he loved him. He wanted to tell Axel how much he loved him. So he satisfied himself with waiting for Axel to hang up on the phone and saying to the walls of his room "I love you," with tears being held back.

He just went back to getting his application for college done.

* * *

Spring break had finally come. As a friend Roxas was meeting Axel at the mall. He ran as fast as his body would let him. He wanted to see Axel so much it hurt. When he found Axel sitting on a bench reading he ran again and held him as if he hadn't seen him in years.

They chatted a bit about what had happened in their lives. Roxas sat quietly listening to Axel. He wanted him back so much. But he knew Axel's mother, who hated Roxas, would get between them. And he knew Axel wouldn't do anything about it. So he sat in silence.

Axel had learned to pick up on these sorts of things, though. And with a bit of persuading, got it out of his former lover.

To be so close to Axel but knowing Axel was no longer with him… it killed him. His heart sank just looking at Axel. Roxas loved him and desperately wanted to tell him.

But friends don't say things like that to each other.

Roxas thought that Axel would hate him now that he knew Roxas wanted to be with him still. Roxas had promised to change for Axel but so far nothing had happened. He thought Axel would turn away, never speak to him, never look at him…

But Axel admitted that he wanted Roxas back.

And that was it. They were together again. Roxas was the happiest he had been in months. They just had to keep it a secret from Axel's parents. It was easy.

Or so Roxas thought.

* * *

Wednesday Roxas didn't get any text from Axel. So he left a joke voice mail thinking either Axel didn't have his cell phone on him or it had died.

Thursday there were still no texts. He left another voice mail and worried.

Friday there was going to be a campfire with hamburgers, hotdogs, and s'mores. Axel never called.

So Roxas called him. Axel's mother had answered saying Axel was dropping off applications. He called again around 3:00. This time she hung up on him. So his step-mother, not impressed with the childish action, called with her phone. This time the story was Axel had been doing errands and had a head cold now.

Roxas knew it was bull shit. He knew she was up to something. He felt tears coming. He tried so hard to hold them back but it was too much.

The s'mores were bitter that night.


End file.
